


Little Wonders

by MissAllySwan



Category: The OC (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Anger Management, Brothers, Child Abuse, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Fluff, Foster Care, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, Kid Fic, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24122494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissAllySwan/pseuds/MissAllySwan
Summary: AU: Ryan Atwood is seven years old and was abandoned by the only family he has ever known. Kirsten and Sandy are unable to have more children but they decide to give foster care a try. And little did they know how much Ryan would change their family's lives.
Relationships: Kirsten Cohen/Sandy Cohen
Kudos: 13





	1. The Heartbreak

**Disclaimer: I do not own The O.C. or any of its characters. Everything belongs to FOX and Josh.**

* * *

The day that Kirsten found out she couldn’t have any more children was a difficult day. Sandy and Kirsten had always talked about having a few kids. They did not want Seth to grow up alone. He was already five years old and struggling to make friends. Kirsten thought and hoped that with a brother or sister around, at least he wouldn’t have to feel alone. Sandy was inclined to agree from personal experience with growing up in a small apartment in the Bronx with a brother and sister. He knew having a sibling would be good for their son. Since Seth was five years old, they had been trying. But they had no luck. After months, she decided to go to the doctor to find out what was wrong.

Sandy held her hand as they waited for the doctor to come in and give them the results of her tests. She held her breath as the doctor came and in sat down in front of him. “Were there any difficulties during your son’s pregnancy?” The doctor asked.

“I had pre-eclampsia.” Kirsten answered. The pregnancy and the birth had been difficult. She remembered it clearly. The doctors had been concerned about possibly losing her and the baby. But everything turned out alright as they made sure the doctors monitored everything closely. “They did a C-Section.” She wasn’t sure what this had to do with getting pregnant. When she got pregnant with Seth, that didn’t take much effort; that had been the easy part.

“Well it seems from the complications of your previous pregnancy…” Kirsten could not even hear. She felt far away as the doctor explained, only able to hear the ringing in her ears. Eventually she was snapped from her own thoughts.

“I’m sorry?” Kirsten asked when Sandy got her attention. “What does that mean?”

“I am sorry but you cannot have any more kids.” He put it simply.

“But…” Kirsten was speechless and she couldn’t even find the words. She wasn’t sure if such words existed.

“I know this is a lot to take in. But there are other options.” The doctor attempted to offer. But Kirsten did not want to hear it; not now. She got up and left the room. Sandy sighed and looked at the doctor apologetically as he stood. “It’s okay. I know this is a lot.” He nodded. She was in shock. They would both need some time to get through this. “But please, takes these.” He handed Sandy a few pamphlets on other options for having children. They might want to take a look later. “When you and Kirsten are ready, of course.”

“Thank you.” Sandy said as he then went to go find Kirsten. He found her in the car and instead of attempting to say something, he just got into the passenger seat and started the car. “We should go pick up Seth.” Sandy spoke, noting that school was going to let out soon. Kirsten did not respond. She just faced the window, not able to talk or look at her husband.

Seth hopped in the backseat of the Range Rover when he saw his parents pull up. “Hi mommy! Hi daddy!” He greeted with a smile.

“Hey buddy, how was your day?” Sandy responded while Kirsten remained quiet.

“It was good.” Seth responded. He liked school a lot and he loved to tell his parents about it. Today, he had art class, one of his favorites, and he couldn’t wait to show his parents what he made. Since the teacher was sick, the substitute let them draw whatever they wanted to. When they got back to the house, Seth put his backpack down on floor and then went digging through his stuff to find his sketch pad. He eventually found it and flipped through the pages until he found the drawing he made this afternoon. He then ran over to Kirsten.

“I made you something mommy.” He exclaimed as he then held it up to show her.

Kirsten smiled, but it quickly faded once she saw what her son had drawn. She took the sketch pad. It was a drawing of their family. Seth was in the middle of his two parents while his mother was holding what looked like to be a baby wrapped in a blue blanket. Kirsten’s eyes fell above each figure where Seth had written Mommy, Daddy, Seth, and baby brother.

“Do you like it mommy?” Seth asked, smiling. Kirsten didn’t respond other than letting out a shaky breath and then heading upstairs. “Mommy?” Seth’s face fell as Sandy took hold of the sketch from the couch where Kirsten had dropped it. He sighed eternally once he saw the drawing. _Really bad timing_. Sandy looked down at Seth and noticed his lip quivering in response to Kirsten leaving so abruptly. He picked Seth up as he started to cry. “Why doesn’t mommy like it?” Seth didn’t understand. She always liked the drawings he made. And his parents usually being the only ones who told him how wonderful they were, it hurt Seth to think that his mom didn’t like it.

“It’s not that Seth.” Sandy tried to figure out the best way to explain. “Mommy likes it. But—she just had a bad day.”

“But…” Seth still didn’t understand. He has seen her sad before but then when she sees his drawings she feels better. He didn’t understand why it didn’t work this time. He realized she must be really upset. “Why is mommy upset?”

“She— _we_ got some really bad news today.” Sandy replied. He wondered if there was a way to tell Seth. He wanted to help him understand, but he wasn’t sure there was a good way to explain it. And he wasn’t sure he should attempt to explain without talking to Kirsten about it first.

“Oh.” Seth said and then looked up at Sandy as he rubbed his damp eyes. “Do you like the drawing daddy?” He asked, looking at him with these big eyes that made him melt.

“I think it’s a wonderful.” Sandy smiled at Seth. “But why are my eyebrow so bushy?”

“Because they are daddy.” Seth giggled and Sandy chuckled slightly as he pulled Seth in close for a hug.

Sandy had waited for Seth to cheer up before he left him to go check on his wife. And he knew she was going to need a moment alone before he approached. When he got to the bedroom, he pushed the door open and saw her sitting on the bed, facing the window. He walked in and sat next to her, not saying a word for a moment. Eventually, he turned to look at Kirsten. He then slowly reached over and took her hand, gently. Kirsten turned her head away slightly, avoiding Sandy’s gaze, but she gripped his hand a bit tighter.

“It’s not your fault, you know?” Sandy eventually spoke.

“How can you say that?” Kirsten asked, her voice cracked slightly.

“Because it’s true.” Sandy answered, simply. He knew that Kirsten was blaming herself for this. “This isn’t your fault. And we couldn’t have known what would have happened when you had Seth.”

“The doctor told me the risks when I was pregnant with him.” Kirsten pointed out.

“Yeah. He told us the risks of continuing your pregnancy.” Sandy shook his head. “There was nothing you could have done differently. Except terminate the pregnancy and we both know you wouldn’t have done that. We both talked about the risks back then and we both agreed it was worth it for our baby—our son.” Sandy knew Kirsten did not regret that decision. They would not trade having Seth for anything.

Kirsten shook her head slowly, “It’s too bad Rebecca ran off. You guys could have had the big family you always wanted.”

“Honey,” Sandy spoke softly as he cupped her chin and turned her head, forcing her to look at him. “I love you.” He said, easily and truthfully like he does many times before. “You are my family. You and Seth are everything to me.”

“It’s my fault that we can’t…” Kirsten attempted to put more blame onto herself. “We wanted more children and Seth, he wants a brother or sister.” Kirsten felt guilty for not being able to give her son a siblings. She didn’t like the idea of having him grow up alone. Though Kirsten and her younger sister, Hailey, had their issues, being sisters is a bond unlike anything. And even with all their problems, Kirsten wouldn’t trade that for anything. She had wanted that for Seth. She didn’t want him to grow up alone. But now it seemed like would; and Kirsten felt like it was all her fault. “…and now…” Tears escaped Kirsten’s eyes and Sandy embraced her.

“And we can still have that.” Sandy whispered. He ran his fingers through her long blonde hair and kissed her on her left temple. He let go, his hands moved to her face so she was looking him in the eyes. His thumbs gently caressed her cheeks. “Just not in the way we originally planned.” He smiled at her.

Kirsten put her forehead against his and Sandy wiped her tears away with his thumb. “Are you sure?” Kirsten asked.

“Am I sure this is what I want?” Sandy questioned. “You and Seth are my family—my _everything_. Of course, I am sure that’s what I want.” He was sure that he wanted his life with her; and he wouldn’t want it any differently.

“I know we have other options.” Kirsten was aware of all the options they had. They had options from IVF, surrogacy, and adoption. But she also knew that going down that road would not be easy. “But what if it doesn’t work? And Seth—how do we explain?”

“I don’t think you’re giving Seth enough credit.” Sandy said. “He’s a smart kid. We will find a way to explain.” Sandy knew they just had to find the right words. “He gets that from us.”

Kirsten smiled; she couldn’t deny that.

“And we’ll keep trying.” Sandy was certain that one way—if not one or the other, it would work out for them. He could just feel it in his gut. “I’m willing to try.” He told her. And they wouldn’t know if they didn’t try. “Together.”

Kirsten kissed Sandy, “I guess we better figure out our first move.”


	2. The Broken Home

**Disclaimer: I do not own The O.C. Everything belongs to Josh and FOX.**

* * *

Ryan was sitting on the porch of his best friend Theresa’s house. He had knocked on the door and was waiting for an answer. It was Saturday and every weekend he spent most of it at his best friend’s house. They never went to his house. It was always pure chaos and Ryan liked to find any reason to get out of the house. And half the time, his mother didn’t even notice he was gone. She was usually too drunk to care; it was better if he stayed out of the way.

Eventually, it was Theresa’s mother who answered the door. “Hello Ryan.” She greeted with a frown, which concerned Ryan. “I’m sorry, but Theresa is sick this morning.” She told him, sadly. “She’s not going to be able to play today.”

“Can I see her?” Ryan asked. He didn’t care what they did. He would even be up for coming in and getting her whatever she needed to feel better. He knew what to do from taking care of his mother.

“She’s asleep right now.” Her mother told him and Ryan could gather from that response that she wasn’t going to let him inside. “Sorry.” She added, obviously seeing the disappointment in Ryan’s eyes when he took a step closer to go in.

“I could help her feel better.” Ryan offered. He took care of his mother when she got her morning hangovers or when she went over her limit and spent mornings vomiting up her liquor. He knew how to take care of people and he certainly wouldn’t mind taking care of his best friend. He wanted to be able to do something for her, if he could.

“I don’t think she is up for visitors.”

“But—“ Ryan tried to insist, even though he had quickly realized that her mother didn’t want him here today.

“Maybe tomorrow she will feel up to it. But for today, I think it would be best to let her rest and go home. And I wouldn’t want you to catch what she has.”

Ryan nodded and turned around, slowly walking away from the Diaz house. He understood why she was sending him home but only to an extent. He didn’t want to go home. He would have given anything to stay. Home life has been difficult for as long as Ryan can remember but as of late, it’s gotten worse. Ever since his older brother, Trey, got arrested and sent to juvie. Trey used to protect him from his mother and her boyfriend of-the-day when they had their rage fits. But now he was on his own and there wasn’t much he could do to protect himself; Ryan was only seven years old. He tried to stay out of the way but somehow, they always found a reason to get angry at him.

Ryan dragged his feet up the path to his house and he went inside. He tried to be quiet, but then stopped in his tracks. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his mother pouring herself a glass of whiskey.

“Where the hell were you?” Dawn asked as she then lit a cigarette and took a puff.

“I went to see if Theresa wanted to play.” He admitted, honestly.

“I guess she didn’t want to.” Dawn chuckled slightly.

“She’s sick.” Ryan informed, but regretted it instantly as Dawn’s face hardened.

“Goddamn it!” Dawn cussed before downing her glass of whiskey with one swallow. “Just great! And now you’re going to be spreading the germs.” She complained. “Now I’m probably going to get sick and be out of work for a few days.”

 _You call out once a week anyways_. Ryan thought, but didn’t voice. “Her mom didn’t let me in.” He said, hoping that put the thought out of her head. “She didn’t want me to catch it.” He added.

“Well her mom was around her so she could have given it to you.” Dawn responded as she took the bottle and poured herself more whiskey, finishing off the bottle.

Ryan sighed; she had a point. But he knew it was very unlikely. “I’m not gonna get sick.” Ryan insisted.

“You think you’re so smart!?” Dawn started to yell which caused Ryan to flinch. “You better hope you’re right.” She took a puff of her cigarette. “Last thing I need is for you to get me sick.” Ryan nodded before going over to the cupboard to get some breakfast. There was some cereal left in the box, barely enough for a bowl. He poured it in the bowl so he could eat it. Ryan would prefer it with milk but they didn’t have any that wasn’t spoiled. As he went to grab the bowl off the counter, it pushed against a glass, knocking it off the counter and onto the floor where it shattered.

Ryan blanched. He stared at the shards on the ground.

“What the hell!?” Dawn’s current boyfriend, A.J., cussed, getting off from the couch and walking over.

“Look what you’ve done now!” Dawn yelled as she then took a step forward, stumbling slightly and her foot stepped on one of the glass shards. She screamed and then slapped Ryan across the face, blaming him. “Look what you made me do!” She screamed as tears escaped her eyes, making her old eyeshadow from yesterday run.

“I’m sorry.” Ryan whimpered. He put his hand against his cheek as the skin turned red and began throbbing. “I didn’t…” Ryan wasn’t able to finish that statement as A.J. grabbed him by his hair and started dragging him across the carpet to his bedroom, which caused rug burns up his ribcage. A.J. threw him on the room and then gave him a kick into his stomach before slamming the door shut.

Ryan curled up into a ball as the pain lingered. He laid there on the floor until the pain started to subside. Eventually, he attempted to crawl over to his mattress, but only made it a few inches before the pain became too intense. He squeezed his eyes for a moment. He couldn’t fight off all the tears as they started to silently pour from his eyes. He wouldn’t dare make a sound. Ryan knew that if his mother or A.J. heard him; that could only make things worse. He could hear them out in the living room. He couldn’t make out what they said, but he knew they were angry. Ryan also knew the pain he was in now was nothing compared to what he would get.

Eventually, Ryan passed out on the floor. He woke up, his eyes shooting open when his door flew open, causing a loud bang as it hit the wall. His mother went over to him, pulling him by the shoulder. “Get up!” She screamed as she pulled him towards the kitchen.

“Mom…” Ryan whimpered in pain. His shoulder had been dislocated once before. Her pulling on it was only aggravating the old injury.

“What kind of kid did I get stuck with?” She shook her head, angrily. “Huh you tell me!” Ryan flinched in response. “Look at what you did to me!” She held up her foot with a towel wrapped around it, drops of dried blood on it. Ryan glanced away with eyes, not wanting to look at it. “And you’re in there sleeping while we had to clean up your mess!”

“I didn’t…” Ryan didn’t mean to do that. He would not have wanted to do that. Ryan never would have done anything to hurt her; A.J. did that enough to the two of them.

“Seriously!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, “What kind of kid did I get stuck with? What kind of family do I got!” Ryan could not answer and he was afraid to. He trembled, attempting to shuffle away, but Dawn noticed and grabbed him by the shirt.

“Mama, please…” Ryan pleaded. He felt scared. He squeezed his eyes tight, preparing himself for the beating. But then Dawn dropped him.

“Out.”

Ryan opened his eyes, feeling confused.

“I said I want you out!” Dawn paraphrased, speaking a little louder this time. “I just can’t!”

“But…” Ryan tried to argue, but he really didn’t understand. _Is she really kicking me out?_ “But mom...” He didn’t know what to do.

“You heard her, twerp.” He looked over and saw A.J. getting a beer from the fridge. “She doesn’t want you here no more.”

“But mom…I love you.” Ryan’s voice broke. He got up and attempted to go over to her. Usually those words were enough to appeal to Dawn; but not tonight.

“Did you not hear me?!” She responded without any sympathy in her voice. “I want you out! You break everything you touch! Just get out!”

“If you’re not outta here in the next minute...” A.J. put his beer down on the counter and approached.

Ryan ran back towards his room to grab his things, almost running into the wall as his eyes filled with tears causing his vision to be blurry. Ryan grabbed his small backpack and shoved a few things into it. As he headed back out, he looked to his mother, hoping she would change her mind. But she couldn’t even bring herself to look at him as he was then forced out the door.

Ryan heard the door lock after it was shut in his face. He stood there frozen for a moment but then he took his bike, which was sitting on the lawn and then he rode it down the street until he got to a bus stop. He reached into his pocket, pulling out one quarter as he walked over to the payphone. He only had enough to make one call. And then realization hit him. _Who could I call?_ Ryan didn’t have anyone he could call. His father left town a year ago, his older brother was in jail, and his mother didn’t care. Theresa was his best friend. Her family liked him but he knew they wouldn’t have the room for him; he didn’t have anywhere to go. This was the moment he realized how utterly alone he was.

This summer night in California was a chilly one. The wind went through the holes of his hoodie and he looked up at the cloudy sky as it began to rain. Ryan put the quarter into the phone and then dialed three numbers; his only option if he wanted to stay dry.

“911, how can I help you?”

“My mother kicked me out. Can you help me?” Ryan said attempting to fight back tears. His bit his lip as the man on the phone spoke to him, reassuring him that someone would be out to help him.

Ryan sat on the bench to wait. He held his backpack tightly to his chest. Through the gap in zipper, he could see the picture of his once whole family. He remembered how it had never been perfect in the slightest, but at the moment, he would have given anything for them to be together. At least then, he wouldn’t be all alone. As the flashing red and blue lights approached with their loud sirens is when Ryan finally allowed himself to cry.

“What’s your name?” One officer asked.

“R-R-Ryan.” He stuttered as the tears kept pouring.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He asked, crouching down in front of him.

Ryan did not look at the officer. He hiccupped through the tears, trembling as he thought about how to explain himself and what just happened. He was still trying to make sense of it.

“It’s going to be okay.” The officer attempted to offer some comfort. He hoped that would be enough to convince Ryan to talk to him.

Ryan eventually explained but he didn’t see how it could be okay. His mother had just kicked him out and he had nowhere to go. He knew what likely would happen next. They would call child services and he would get put into the system and get put in a group home. Ryan could remember Trey always warning him that home was always better than being in foster care. But he never understood how anything could be worse than his broken home.

Ryan was sitting on the porch of his best friend Theresa’s house. He had knocked on the door and was waiting for an answer. It was Saturday and every weekend he spent most of it at his best friend’s house. They never went to his house. It was always pure chaos and Ryan liked to find any reason to get out of the house. And half the time, his mother didn’t even notice he was gone. She was usually too drunk to care; it was better if he stayed out of the way.

Eventually, it was Theresa’s mother who answered the door. “Hello Ryan.” She greeted with a frown, which concerned Ryan. “I’m sorry, but Theresa is sick this morning.” She told him, sadly. “She’s not going to be able to play today.”

“Can I see her?” Ryan asked. He didn’t care what they did. He would even be up for coming in and getting her whatever she needed to feel better. He knew what to do from taking care of his mother.

“She’s asleep right now.” Her mother told him and Ryan could gather from that response that she wasn’t going to let him inside. “Sorry.” She added, obviously seeing the disappointment in Ryan’s eyes when he took a step closer to go in.

“I could help her feel better.” Ryan offered. He took care of his mother when she got her morning hangovers or when she went over her limit and spent mornings vomiting up her liquor. He knew how to take care of people and he certainly wouldn’t mind taking care of his best friend. He wanted to be able to do something for her, if he could.

“I don’t think she is up for visitors.”

“But—“ Ryan tried to insist, even though he had quickly realized that her mother didn’t want him here today.

“Maybe tomorrow she will feel up to it. But for today, I think it would be best to let her rest and go home. And I wouldn’t want you to catch what she has.”

Ryan nodded and turned around, slowly walking away from the Diaz house. He understood why she was sending him home but only to an extent. He didn’t want to go home. He would have given anything to stay. Home life has been difficult for as long as Ryan can remember but as of late, it’s gotten worse. Ever since his older brother, Trey, got arrested and sent to juvie. Trey used to protect him from his mother and her boyfriend of-the-day when they had their rage fits. But now he was on his own and there wasn’t much he could do to protect himself; Ryan was only seven years old. He tried to stay out of the way but somehow, they always found a reason to get angry at him.

Ryan dragged his feet up the path to his house and he went inside. He tried to be quiet, but then stopped in his tracks. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his mother pouring herself a glass of whiskey.

“Where the hell were you?” Dawn asked as she then lit a cigarette and took a puff.

“I went to see if Theresa wanted to play.” He admitted, honestly.

“I guess she didn’t want to.” Dawn chuckled slightly.

“She’s sick.” Ryan informed, but regretted it instantly as Dawn’s face hardened.

“Goddamn it!” Dawn cussed before downing her glass of whiskey with one swallow. “Just great! And now you’re going to be spreading the germs.” She complained. “Now I’m probably going to get sick and be out of work for a few days.”

 _You call out once a week anyways_. Ryan thought, but didn’t voice. “Her mom didn’t let me in.” He said, hoping that put the thought out of her head. “She didn’t want me to catch it.” He added.

“Well her mom was around her so she could have given it to you.” Dawn responded as she took the bottle and poured herself more whiskey, finishing off the bottle.

Ryan sighed; she had a point. But he knew it was very unlikely. “I’m not gonna get sick.” Ryan insisted.

“You think you’re so smart!?” Dawn started to yell which caused Ryan to flinch. “You better hope you’re right.” She took a puff of her cigarette. “Last thing I need is for you to get me sick.” Ryan nodded before going over to the cupboard to get some breakfast. There was some cereal left in the box, barely enough for a bowl. He poured it in the bowl so he could eat it. Ryan would prefer it with milk but they didn’t have any that wasn’t spoiled. As he went to grab the bowl off the counter, it pushed against a glass, knocking it off the counter and onto the floor where it shattered.

Ryan blanched. He stared at the shards on the ground.

“What the hell!?” Dawn’s current boyfriend, A.J., cussed, getting off from the couch and walking over.

“Look what you’ve done now!” Dawn yelled as she then took a step forward, stumbling slightly and her foot stepped on one of the glass shards. She screamed and then slapped Ryan across the face, blaming him. “Look what you made me do!” She screamed as tears escaped her eyes, making her old eyeshadow from yesterday run.

“I’m sorry.” Ryan whimpered. He put his hand against his cheek as the skin turned red and began throbbing. “I didn’t…” Ryan wasn’t able to finish that statement as A.J. grabbed him by his hair and started dragging him across the carpet to his bedroom, which caused rug burns up his ribcage. A.J. threw him on the room and then gave him a kick into his stomach before slamming the door shut.

Ryan curled up into a ball as the pain lingered. He laid there on the floor until the pain started to subside. Eventually, he attempted to crawl over to his mattress, but only made it a few inches before the pain became too intense. He squeezed his eyes for a moment. He couldn’t fight off all the tears as they started to silently pour from his eyes. He wouldn’t dare make a sound. Ryan knew that if his mother or A.J. heard him; that could only make things worse. He could hear them out in the living room. He couldn’t make out what they said, but he knew they were angry. Ryan also knew the pain he was in now was nothing compared to what he would get.

Eventually, Ryan passed out on the floor. He woke up, his eyes shooting open when his door flew open, causing a loud bang as it hit the wall. His mother went over to him, pulling him by the shoulder. “Get up!” She screamed as she pulled him towards the kitchen.

“Mom…” Ryan whimpered in pain. His shoulder had been dislocated once before. Her pulling on it was only aggravating the old injury.

“What kind of kid did I get stuck with?” She shook her head, angrily. “Huh you tell me!” Ryan flinched in response. “Look at what you did to me!” She held up her foot with a towel wrapped around it, drops of dried blood on it. Ryan glanced away with eyes, not wanting to look at it. “And you’re in there sleeping while we had to clean up your mess!”

“I didn’t…” Ryan didn’t mean to do that. He would not have wanted to do that. Ryan never would have done anything to hurt her; A.J. did that enough to the two of them.

“Seriously!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, “What kind of kid did I get stuck with? What kind of family do I got!” Ryan could not answer and he was afraid to. He trembled, attempting to shuffle away, but Dawn noticed and grabbed him by the shirt.

“Mama, please…” Ryan pleaded. He felt scared. He squeezed his eyes tight, preparing himself for the beating. But then Dawn dropped him.

“Out.”

Ryan opened his eyes, feeling confused.

“I said I want you out!” Dawn paraphrased, speaking a little louder this time. “I just can’t!”

“But…” Ryan tried to argue, but he really didn’t understand. _Is she really kicking me out?_ “But mom...” He didn’t know what to do.

“You heard her, twerp.” He looked over and saw A.J. getting a beer from the fridge. “She doesn’t want you here no more.”

“But mom…I love you.” Ryan’s voice broke. He got up and attempted to go over to her. Usually those words were enough to appeal to Dawn; but not tonight.

“Did you not hear me?!” She responded without any sympathy in her voice. “I want you out! You break everything you touch! Just get out!”

“If you’re not outta here in the next minute...” A.J. put his beer down on the counter and approached.

Ryan ran back towards his room to grab his things, almost running into the wall as his eyes filled with tears causing his vision to be blurry. Ryan grabbed his small backpack and shoved a few things into it. As he headed back out, he looked to his mother, hoping she would change her mind. But she couldn’t even bring herself to look at him as he was then forced out the door.

Ryan heard the door lock after it was shut in his face. He stood there frozen for a moment but then he took his bike, which was sitting on the lawn and then he rode it down the street until he got to a bus stop. He reached into his pocket, pulling out one quarter as he walked over to the payphone. He only had enough to make one call. And then realization hit him. _Who could I call?_ Ryan didn’t have anyone he could call. His father left town a year ago, his older brother was in jail, and his mother didn’t care. Theresa was his best friend. Her family liked him but he knew they wouldn’t have the room for him; he didn’t have anywhere to go. This was the moment he realized how utterly alone he was.

This summer night in California was a chilly one. The wind went through the holes of his hoodie and he looked up at the cloudy sky as it began to rain. Ryan put the quarter into the phone and then dialed three numbers; his only option if he wanted to stay dry.

“911, how can I help you?”

“My mother kicked me out. Can you help me?” Ryan said attempting to fight back tears. His bit his lip as the man on the phone spoke to him, reassuring him that someone would be out to help him.

Ryan sat on the bench to wait. He held his backpack tightly to his chest. Through the gap in zipper, he could see the picture of his once whole family. He remembered how it had never been perfect in the slightest, but at the moment, he would have given anything for them to be together. At least then, he wouldn’t be all alone. As the flashing red and blue lights approached with their loud sirens is when Ryan finally allowed himself to cry.

“What’s your name?” One officer asked.

“R-R-Ryan.” He stuttered as the tears kept pouring.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He asked, crouching down in front of him.

Ryan did not look at the officer. He hiccupped through the tears, trembling as he thought about how to explain himself and what just happened. He was still trying to make sense of it.

“It’s going to be okay.” The officer attempted to offer some comfort. He hoped that would be enough to convince Ryan to talk to him.

Ryan eventually explained but he didn’t see how it could be okay. His mother had just kicked him out and he had nowhere to go. He knew what likely would happen next. They would call child services and he would get put into the system and get put in a group home. Ryan could remember Trey always warning him that home was always better than being in foster care. But he never understood how anything could be worse than his broken home.


	3. The Arrest

**Disclaimer: I do not own The O.C. Everything belongs to Josh and FOX.**

* * *

It had been six months since Dawn had kicked out Ryan and now he found himself living in his third group home. And so far, this one was proving to be one of the worst ones. Ryan had thought the last home would have been hard to beat between the all the drinking, screaming, and crying that made him feel like he never left home; but he was wrong. This newest group home had a few more kids than the last one; most of them fairly young. Ryan was one of the older kids and that meant he took the brunt of the beatings; and the beatings happened nearly every day.

Ryan woke up with his head pounding on this particular Saturday morning; worse than usual. His eyes were barely open a crack and his eyes fell to the bruises on his arms. “Dick went nuts on you.” Ryan’s roommate, Kyle said when he noticed Ryan had woken up.

“It was my fault anyways.” Ryan responded weakly as attempted to sit up. It took more of an effort than it should have.

“Well no shit.” Kyle, muttered. “You know how he gets. He probably would have stopped sooner if you hadn’t fought back.”

“He had it coming.” Ryan was aware that fighting back only made it worse. Their foster father seemed to get off on it. Though his body ached worse than it ever had, Ryan didn’t regret it. He couldn’t remember all the specifics of how the fight got started last night but he could remember him screaming and chasing Sylvie, one of the younger girls; she was only six years old. He stopped going after her once Ryan had tackled him. He beat on him until Ryan wasn’t able to fight back anymore. Being one of the oldest, he had to protect the younger kids. And if no one else was going to do it, he would do it all over again.

There was a knock at their door. Ryan and Kyle both turned at the same time to the door, initially afraid of it being one of their foster parents. But they let out a soft sigh of relief, realizing that the knock was too soft for it to be them. The door opened slowly and Sylvie walked in, clutching her stuffed bunny that was falling apart at the seams.

“You okay?” Ryan asked her.

Sylvie nodded slowly. “Does it hurt a lot?”

It did. But Ryan figured she didn’t need to know that. “I’ll be okay.” The only thing that mattered to him was that she wasn’t the one that got hurt.

“I’m hungry.” Sylvie whined.

Ryan chuckled slightly. _Well, it didn’t take long for her to forget about that and move onto a more pressing issue_. And then not a moment later, Ryan’s stomach growled. That proved that the six year old wasn’t the only one that needed a meal. “Are they gone?” Ryan asked Sylvie, referring to their foster parents. She seemed to know that and nodded in response.

Ryan pushed himself up as Kyle stood and they followed behind Sylvie to the kitchen. “Not like you’re going to get shit here.” Kyle commented. He then took hold of one of the locks on the fridge. There were locks on the pantry and cabinets as well. The kids barely got a bite to eat and their foster parents made sure to keep _their_ food out of reach by locking it all up. “How do you think we’re gonna get in without the key?”

Ryan scratched his head for a moment and then turned to Sylvie, “Can I have that hair pin?” Ryan asked.

“This one?” Sylvie asked, pointing to the one holding a few pieces of her blonde hair back.

“Please?” Ryan asked nicely and once he was given permission, Ryan carefully took it out of her hair. He then attempted to pick the lock to the pantry. He managed to get the lock off. Ryan gave Kyle a look as he held the opened lock in his hand.

“No way!” Kyle said, not hesitating to move closer towards the now unlocked pantry. But he, as well as Ryan and Sylvie, were disappointed to find a bare pantry. “Should have known…those bastards!” Kyle swore. “Only those assholes would lock an empty pantry.”

“Language.” Ryan nudged. Not that he really cared but they tried to keep the swearing minimal in front of the younger kids.

“Like I friggin’ care!” Kyle swore louder. “I’m hungry!”

“We’re all hungry.” Ryan corrected. It had been a few days since the last time the kids had anything to eat. Ryan knew it would have only been a matter of time before the others started to get agitated, more specifically Kyle. He already had problems with keeping his temper in check when he wasn’t being deprived the food.

“There’s nothing to eat?” Sylvie asked. Her lip started to quiver.

“I’ll get some food.” Ryan assured.

“How?!” Kyle yelled. “Where the hell are you going to get any food, Ryan?! We have no money!”

“Will you shut up for ten seconds?” Ryan responded and then went upstairs and attempted to use the hair pin to unlock their foster parent’s bedroom. It proved to be more difficult than the lock on the pantry but he managed. Ryan knew that it was possible that their foster parents kept some money stashed in their room. He had seen them go up there for money before. He had also heard both of them yell at them before about missing money that her husband took. Ryan figured if he could find at least a few dollars, it could at least buy them a candy bar or something at the convenience store down the street. Ryan went through the drawers and he wasn’t able to find a single penny. He found where they kept their money but it was completely empty.

“Did you find their money?” Kyle asked.

“Nothing.” Ryan shook his head.

“Were they smart enough to take it with them?”

Ryan laughed. “You give them too much credit.” He didn’t believe that for a second. He knew these people were far from smart. “Those idiots probably spent it all.”

“Great.” Kyle groaned. “Well if you are such a genius, what are we gonna do now?”

Ryan sighed, trying to think if there was any other way. He felt just as hungry as the other kids and combined with the pain throughout his entire body, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stand Kyle’s voice much longer, much less stand on his two feet. He knew there might be only one way. “Come on, lets go.” Ryan went to put on his shoes.

“Where are we going?” Kyle asked.

“To get some food.” Ryan answered.

“With no money?” Kyle arched an eyebrow in confusion. He didn’t seem to understand.

“Ever heard of the five finger discount?” Ryan knew that Kyle would understand what that meant. Though Ryan did not want to do it, he knew at this point they would all die of starvation if he didn’t. They had to eat and this might be the only way.

* * *

Ryan walked down to the convenience store with Kyle and Sylvie following. Ryan hadn’t wanted Sylvie to come along. That way Kyle could have helped and they wouldn’t have to worry about the six year old while they tried to pull this off. But Sylvie was not an easy child to say ‘no’ to. Currently, the three of them were standing across the road from the convenience store. Ryan was going over the plan in his head and he was trying to figure out the best way to go about this.

“Are you sure about this Ry?” Kyle asked. He hadn’t expected Ryan to suggest stealing.

“Do you have a better idea?” Ryan responded. He was open to ideas but he had thought about it. Unless they wanted to wait around and pray for their foster parents to bring them food, which Ryan doubted would happen, he knew this was the only way.

“Didn’t think you were that type.” Kyle shrugged. “I guess you learned from your brother, huh?”

“Do you want to eat or not?” Ryan snapped. He was starting to get agitated.

“Okay, don’t bite my head off.” Kyle rolled his eyes.

Ryan and Kyle crossed the street, staying back as they noticed Sylvie attempting to follow.

“What are we doing?” Sylvie asked. She didn’t know why they were out here.

“We’re gonna get food.” Ryan answered. “But you’re going to wait here for us. Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

“But I wanna come…” Sylvie whined.

“No.” Ryan said sternly. “You either stay here or go home.”

Sylvie pouted, “I don’t like you anymore.” She crossed her arms as she went and sat on the grass.

Ryan sighed as Kyle gave him a look. “Don’t worry, she’ll change her mind once we eat.”

Ryan and Kyle headed inside the store and then went to the third aisle in the back, passing the cashier at the front. Ryan glanced back in his direction to see if he was watching. The cashier had been eyeing them since they came in and Ryan knew they had to wait for the right opportunity.

“Hey, so what’s the plan?” Kyle whispered. “Please tell me you’ve come up with a plan.” Ryan didn’t respond as he looked for something he could stuff into his pockets. He picked up a small pack of cookies and a small tin of _pringles_ chips and then put it into the pocket of his hoodie. “Seriously dumbass? Nothing?”

“Shut it.” Ryan shushed.

“I thought you would be smart enough to have a plan.” Kyle shook his head. He had made enough mistakes to know that doing this blind was a big mistake. He knew Ryan was smart and he was surprised that Ryan hadn’t thought this out. “I guess you really are as dumb as your brother.” That hit a nerve and Ryan shoved Kyle in response.

“Hey!” Ryan and Kyle heard the cashier yell, likely hearing Ryan shove Kyle into another rack, knocking at least six bags of chips off the shelf. “What’s going on?!” He attempted to go over there but then a phone started ringing in the back.

Ryan sighed in relief as the cashier headed in the back to answer the phone.

“This is our chance.” Kyle nudged. “Run.” Before rushing for the door, he grabbed a few more bags of chips and then bolted for the door. Ryan stood there frozen for a moment and then made a run for as he saw the cashier coming out of the back.

“HEY!” He heard the guy yell but Ryan kept running behind Kyle.

“We gotta go Sylvie!” Kyle said as he grabbed Sylvie by the arm and kept running, despite her protests of him hurting her arm and that she couldn’t go any faster. “Ryan hurry!” Ryan was coming behind but hethen tripped slightly. He didn’t fall, but the slip was enough where the cashier was able to run out there and grab him, stopping him from catching up.

 _Shit._ Ryan knew this was bad once he saw Kyle and Sylvie look back as the cashier caught him but then continue running off. He froze as the cashier gave him a dirty look. “You think you can steal…” Ryan attempted to cut him off as he shakily reached into his hoodie pockets.

“I’m s-sorry…” He threw what he stole on the ground.

“Oh you will be.” The cashier muttered. “The police are on their way and they will deal with you. Throw you in prison where trash like you belongs.” Ryan shut his eyes, trembling as he could hear sirens coming. He knew he had screwed up but he didn’t know what else he could have done. He was hungry though he wished now he could take it back now that he had gotten caught. _Maybe Kyle was right about being like my brother; I did the same stupid things he did._ Ryan felt scared about the prospect of getting a taste of what Trey had been experiencing. But he also realized, that even without his family, the Atwood curse seemed to follow him everywhere. His dad was arrested once and his brother was doing time. _Maybe it was only a matter of time before I got to go there._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The foster kids, Kyle and Sylvie, are portrayed by Finn Wolfhard and Erica Tremblay.


	4. The Decision

Kirsten and Sandy made the decision to try IVF first. And they had even tried a second time when the first time she failed to get pregnant. And when that failed, they attempted to try out surrogacy. They went through many candidates until they found whom they thought would be the perfect donor. But then she had a miscarriage. They then turned to adoption. After a long wait, they managed to find a young and healthy sixteen year old girl who wanted to give up her baby when it was born. And as the due date of the teen’s baby girl approached, Sandy and Kirsten were starting to believe it would work out this time. They bought all the things they were going to need and set up the room for the baby. They even picked out a name: Rose, after Kirsten’s late mother. But they were devastated when the teenager changed her mind after the baby was born, when her boyfriend came back into the picture.

It had been two weeks since the adoption fell through and Kirsten had been hauled up in their bedroom for most of the time since. She had done minimal work from home and only the work that was most crucial. Her father, Caleb, was no help with actually helping Kirsten through that tough time. He only cared about her being able to return to work. And his attempts to help only insulted her. He would insinuate that the baby wasn’t even hers and she shouldn’t be hung up on something that was never hers. Meanwhile, Sandy tried to be there for her the best he could. He understood what she was going through; he was going through the same. The baby was going to be his as well; he also lost that child. But there was only so much he could do as she continued to push him further and further away. But he was never going to stop trying.

While Kirsten was up in bed, Sandy had to answer a call from her father. Sandy only picked up the phone when he had continuously tried calling and by the fifth time, Sandy had enough of it. _Clearly, he can’t take a hint. “_ Cal, I don’t know when she will be able to take your call, let alone come back into work.” Sandy rolled my eyes as he went on again with his opinions over the matter. “Well, to be frank, I wasn’t asking for your opinion. And now if you’ll excuse I am going to check on my wife.” Sandy slammed the phone down after he hung up the call. He’ll never understand how Kirsten could deal with him.

Sandy went upstairs and then into the bedroom. Kirsten was turned on her side, away from the door. “Was that my father?” She asked, speaking softly.

“Yeah.” Sandy nodded. “Don’t worry, I got rid of him.” He sat down on the bed, moving up closer to Kirsten. She shuffled away in response but Sandy ignored her attempts to push him away as he wrapped his arms around her.

“He just doesn’t understand why I care so much about a child that wasn’t mine.” Kirsten’s voice cracked.

“He is probably wondering when we’re going to return the baby stuff.” Sandy replied, but regretted it instantly. _Well that was a stupid thing to say._ “I’m sorry, honey.”

“Rose was _our_ baby!” Kirsten was at the point where she was angrier than she was upset.

“She was supposed to be.” Sandy nodded. And though he wasn’t showing it as much as Kirsten was, but the adoption going south truly killed him. He was looking forward to having another baby in the house. He was looking forward to having a daughter. “But we did know the risks.”

“Are we just not meant to have another child?” Kirsten flipped over and looked at Sandy. He moved the hair away from her face and behind her ear.

“Don’t say that.” Sandy didn’t want her to give up. He certainly hadn’t given up yet.

“Why not? We keep trying and nothing is working.” Kirsten was frustrated. “We haven’t even been called about a foster placement. And we know that those could just be temporary or not work at all.” Kirsten was beginning to wonder if all this trouble was worth given how much pain it caused them. “Maybe we should just cut our losses. We have Seth and we love him.” She was starting to think that maybe one child would be enough and they should just put this thing to rest.

“Yes we do love him.” Sandy never denied that.

“Maybe we’re only meant to have one child.”

“Do you want another child?” Sandy asked.

“Sandy—“ Kirsten thought they had already gone over this. And she had just explained to him what she was feeling. “I know we talked about the risks before, but nothing is working out.” She was starting to believe the universe was telling her something. That maybe they should give this up and focus on Seth completely.

“That’s not what I asked you.” Sandy pointed out. “Do you want another child?”

“Yes, I do.” She admitted. She had been upfront about that since before they found out she couldn’t get pregnant again. Of course her wanting another child hadn’t changed.

“Then let’s keeping trying.” Sandy encouraged.

“Really? After all this, you still want to try?” Kirsten was surprised.

“I know this is hard and believe me, I understand what you’re feeling. Not being that little girl’s dad killed me.” He truly had been looking forward to it. He had thought this had been it. “But you know maybe we weren’t meant to be _her_ parents. Maybe there is a kid out there that really needs _us_.” Sandy believed that it would happen, but they would never know for sure if they threw in the towel now.

“You really believe that?”

Sandy nodded. “I do.” He placed a kiss on her forehead. “So what do you say?”

“Okay.” Kirsten nodded, reluctantly. Something about what Sandy said made her want to try for a bit longer.

Then the phone started to ring. Sandy went and looked at the caller ID before answering it. “Hello? Yes, this is Sandy Cohen.” He smiled slightly and put a hand over to phone, turning to Kirsten. “It’s the fostering agency.” He told her before putting the phone back to his ear. “Yes, yes we can be there in an hour. Thank you for calling.” He hung up the phone.

“The fostering agency?” Kirsten wondered if that call was what they were hoping for.

“They want us to come and talk about a possible placement.” Sandy smiled and then Kirsten got up from the bed and he embraced her. He then kissed her on the lips and Kirsten let out an excited noise in response.

“Thank you for not letting me give up.” It seemed the universe was listening. And this might be the moment they were waiting for.

* * *

Kirsten and Sandy got cleaned up and ready and then headed over to the fostering agency. They waited for a few moments before being brought back into an office and meeting with their agent, along with a social worker. “Kirsten, Sandy, good to see you.”

“Likewise.” Kirsten replied to their agent, pleasantly. Sandy gave a firm nod as he shook their agent’s hand.

“This is Pam.” She introduced the social worker. Kirsten and Sandy shook hands with the tall blonde woman and then took a seat. They could only assume that she was the social worker of the possible placement. “Anyways, we asked you here to discuss a possible placement.”

“Well, great.” Kirsten tried to keep neutral, but she found it difficult. She was excited that this could work out. But given their history with past attempts, she was trying not to get her hopes up too soon.

Pam took a photo out from the file she was holding in her left hand and handed it to Sandy and Kirsten. “This is Ryan. He’s been in care for a little over a year.” She then went onto explain a little bit about him. “His mother is an alcoholic and according to him, she kicked him out. We tried to locate his father but were unsuccessful.” She explained.

“How old is he?” Sandy asked. He could tell from the picture that the boy was fairly young. He looked no more than a few years older than their son.

“Seven.” Pam answered. That was the same age as Seth.

“His mother kicked out a seven year old?” Kirsten asked, finding that almost hard to believe. How could a mother abandon their child? Especially one so young.

“It appears so.” Pam nodded. “Anyways, he’s been through a few foster homes in the year. Most of them have been crowded and the most recent one, they are requesting that he is not returned.” Kirsten was going to ask a question but found herself unable to as Pam continued. “We were thinking it might be better if Ryan was placed in a less crowded home. You only have one son, correct?”

“Yes, Seth. He’s the same age.” Kirsten thought it could be nice to bring in someone around the same age. “So you’re recommending he be placed with us?”

“A lot of foster homes are filled. You are fairly new to the system and your home situation is ideal.” Their agent, Taryn, chimed in. “Ryan needs to be in a proper environment and we believe that could be in your home.”

“But we do have to tell you about some circumstances.” Pam added.

“What circumstances?” Sandy asked.

“Just a few days ago, Ryan was arrested for shopping lifting.” Pam said and then looked through his file. “And there’s some notations of violence—“

“Violence?” That concerned Kirsten.

“He’s had a lot to overcome and his previous homes weren’t able to provide the proper environment he needs.” Pam went on, flipping through. “You know how kids can be.”

Sandy knew how foster families could be. From his line of work, he had seen many kids from the wrong side of the tracks. He knew where they come from could take a part in how people see you and how you can react. Sandy understood though it didn’t seem like Pam knew how to properly explain. “Did you just get this case?”

Pam nodded, “I am still catching up. But I know the details.”

Sandy figured as much. _Not well apparently._ “Well, could you give Kirsten and I a few minutes to discuss this?” Sandy knew it would be better if they weren’t in the room, putting the pressure on them.

“Of course.” Pam and Taryn left the room.

“I don’t know, Sandy.” Kirsten sighed once the two women had left the room and shut the door behind them. “I mean, we have Seth to think about.” The facts about an arrest and mentioning violence worried her.

“I know.” Sandy understood where she was coming from. “But think about it.” He could make a case in his defense. “You’ve heard stories about certain foster homes.” Kirsten nodded. “We don’t know the details or the circumstances. But I am going to take a guess and say that the kid was being defensive. How violent could a seven year old really be?”

“I guess you have a point.” Kirsten was still worried. He could end up hurting Seth.

“Listen, what I gather from this is that this Ryan has a pretty rough start to life. And it doesn’t seem be getting better.” Sandy thought living in Bronx was hard until some of the cases he had seen come across his desk. “This might be his best chance. We could help him.”

“You want him, don’t you?” Kirsten knew her husband and she could tell that he was pushing for this kid.

“I just have a good feeling.” Sandy admitted. “Look, we decided to give this a try and I feel like we should give this a try; this kid deserves a second chance.”

Kirsten smiled slightly. “Alright, we’ll give it a shot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It looks like Ryan will be going to stay with the Cohens. They meet next chapter. His new social worker, Pam, is portrayed by Gwendoline Christie. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on an RP I did a few years back. And I decided to write this story upon feeling inspiration to write little Seth and Ryan. Originally posted on FFN on March 2nd 2020.


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